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(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2010|08:08 pm]
[mood |confusedconfused]

note to self: stop fixating on the impossible fantasy. Stop fixating in general, while we're at it.

smoking, biting your nails, and eating would be good too.

Second person? Ew how pretentious.

How can i possibly end up in the same place no matter how fast i run?
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(no subject) [Mar. 20th, 2010|10:59 am]
note to self: re-read The Sound and The Fury. Once you finish For the New Intellectual. By finish, I mean get past first chapter.

Half elated, half confused, half depressed, generally. I suppose thats not possible. 33.333333% then.

At least its getting nice out and i can take mack for walks and such, not be such a lazy fatass. I simply dont self identify when Im fat. Kind of an odd feeling. Like capgrass syndrome except directed solely towards myself. Hmm. Im not sure i spelled that correctly. Or rather that Im recalling the right word. Oh well, who's gonna know?

Gonna buy some vicki's shit i cant afford and smoke some cigarettes i similarly cant afford. Ah, well. Such is life.
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(no subject) [Mar. 10th, 2010|07:39 pm]
it just struck me that Obamas been president for so long and i havent posted nearly enough factual (aka hatemongering and insensitive) blogs about his piece of shit administration.
Dammit, kelly!
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(no subject) [Mar. 10th, 2010|07:32 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

hello, world. Ive missed you.

Mack turned one two weeks ago. Holy crap i am fucking old. Its official.

in amazing news, my arch nemesis was finally fired - dont let the door hit you on the ass fucking douchebag!!! Too bad he fucked up my car on the way out. Oh well, small price to pay. I hope he gets evicted and starves to death.

in happier news, I found a daycare. score!

Switching Depts at work (THANK GOD!), be working 3 days in office and home web stuff, full time plus. I CANT WAIT!!!! I suppose thats sort of sick but whatever, I am who i am and i dont apologize for it. Clearly. i fucking like being productive. Excuse me.

in irritating news, I am still devastatingly fucking fat. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.... This is the next problem to solve on my agenda, as its 100% in my control. Ive lost 50 pounds from my last pregnancy weigh in. Ideally, I would still like to weigh about 35lb less than where i am now though. Thats almost two mackenzies. BRUTAL! 85 fucking pounds kelly? RI-GODDAMN-DICULOUS

The problem simultaneous slash immediately following that? Not so much on the control factor. But Ill fucking solve it eventually anyways. Eventually being the operative word. Maybe im just a fundamentally frustrated hard to please kind of person. Whatevs.

Been doing a training thing for managers through AIM. They said tell everyone what company you work for and how many people you supervise. I said "I dont currently supervise anyone, but i Hope to one day supervise EVERYONE". she laughed but im as serious as a fuckin heart attack

Yah, Kehd.
Someday Im gonna be "the man". I dont see anything stopping me.
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(no subject) [Mar. 20th, 2009|02:13 pm]
Mackenzie Elise born 2/28/09 8lb 13oz 22" and the cutest baby EVER. :o) I love her shes totlly dope :o)
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(no subject) [Feb. 21st, 2009|07:46 pm]
People are such scummy bastards, its ridiculous.

On the plus side, hopefully this baby is coming out sooner rather than later.
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(no subject) [Feb. 17th, 2009|10:11 am]
[mood |blahblah]

No valentines baby. Boooo to that.

Think i may try and take friday off and have the long weekend added to my maternity leave. Jus scared then the baby will come late and ill be screwed!

Hopefully i dont snap at work - friggin on edge especially today. Every day that goes by this douchebag irritates me more and more - cant wait to not see or hear her for 12 weeks.
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(no subject) [Feb. 12th, 2009|09:27 am]
[mood |exhaustedexhausted]

so the baby is head down.. which is good, no surgery heh. Downside being now i jus wait.. no definitive end in sight which is really the plus of a section heh, set date and whatnot.
They are estimating her at around 6lb 8oz at the moment. Said shes tall and skinny - def got that from daddy. Bony ass she got from me. Not that you can tell i had one at this point lol.

Works dead again - wish i started my leave this week. Blegh. Have monday off though so thats a score. Then the next monday is my leave. If i make it.. considered moving it up to next week but there was no change in dilation or anything yest at the drs so i dont wanna burn a bunch of my time sans baby.

Im bored and tired and hungry. BLEEEEHHHH. My ankles are so swollen at the end of the day... you know when you fall asleep w a hair elastic on your wrist? what it looks like in the morning? Thats a slight exaggeration of what my socks do to my ankles. Cant wait for that to be over with bah.
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(no subject) [Feb. 11th, 2009|09:49 am]
[Current Location |work]
[mood |boredbored]

work is SO dead today, jeebus. sucks too cuz im dying to get my ultrasound this afternoon, so the day was gonna feel long anyway - now its gonna be excruciating. Cant beleive its only 950 baaaahhh.. at least the plus side of not being able to concentrate on anything is that i look down and its an hour gone without me having any clue what the hell i did lol. Meh.

Im frigging huge i cant wait to not have to make sure i have a foot of clearance in front of me when i turn lol.
I cant wait to see her too, see what she looks like. I guess i gotta wait a lil longer than jus til i give birth heh considering newborns look like conehead freaks usually lol. Im sure ill still think shes beautiful, but i may be one of the few lol.

Hopefully i will know by the end of today whether i need to schedule a section or not.. not sure which answer i want on that question to be honest. I dont want to have surgery but i also am afraid of trying to push out something way too big. they guess the size on this ultrasound, theres a certain cutoff on weight for delivery so eh. We'll see today i guess... they are notoriously innaccurate so maybe i wont know lol.

GOOOOOODDDDD its dead. Stupid day is going to craaaaaawl
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(no subject) [Feb. 5th, 2009|10:19 am]
well at the dryest they told me im 70% effaced.. whatever the hell that means. well i kno what it means it just may or may not have enormous implications for when i go into labor lol. they also said she may have spun - tough to tell they said, so i guess she has a bony ass that feels like a head lol. Shes either transverse which 100% needs a section, or shes chillin head down. Ultrasound next wednesday will tell for sure. Cant wait, they estimate the sze too so thats cool - cant wait to see how diff she looks in there now cuz i havent had an ultrasound since i was 19 weeks to find out the sex :o)

Oh the billions of things i have to do and the impossible awkwardness of a full term belly that makes it almost impossible to do half of them... bah!
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